The Goddess and Me

December 28, 2011

There are more things between Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. 

—“Wild Bill” Shakespeare

  • She took his burdens
  • Into her body
  • And disposed of them
  • Like his mother always wanted to do
  • But couldn’t.
  • His sins disappeared
  • In the soft grass of her skin.
  • She welcomed them.
  • Thank you, Love. Can I call you ‘Love’?
  • He asked the Earth
  • In the darkness of the New Moon,
  • Feeling her body fall through his fingers
  • As sediment.
  • With dirty fingertips,
  • He caressed her.
  • Love is fleeting,
  • In my experience.
  • Can you be my love?
  • Can you be my mother?
  • For they are the same,
  • At their root,
  • In my experience—
  • And you are the root of both.
  • That which draws
  • Masculine to Feminine
  • Hints at something beneath,
  • Something more true
  • And more powerful
  • Than love of the past.
  • Something perhaps more permanent—
  • Akin to dust and wind and flame (and water)—
  • Forever moving and therefore
  • True to its nature.
  • She is gentle and brutal,
  • Quiet and violent,
  • Beautiful and harmonious.
  • Gaia never rests, always produces.
  • Creating, destroying,
  • Being Herself.
  • Meanwhile, the Cosmos
  • Ever turns, “above,”
  • Corkscrewing into the darkness
  • Between galaxies.
  • And I connect them,
  • Earth and Heaven,
  • Somehow,
  • When I reach for the sky.

(written in 2009)

The Riddle of Male and Female

December 17, 2011

In my experience, there are two kinds of human males: base males andascended males. Base males operate mostly on raw male energy. Ascended males operate mostly on male energy, plus the positive influence of female energy.

(This is not black-and-white, but a graded scale, like a ruler or thermometer. Nothing is black-and-white, not even night and day. There is always gray.)

Ascended male energy is more powerful than base male energy! This power is hidden from base males, though, who must experience it to appreciate it.

There are also two kinds of females: powerful females and females whose power is temporarily lost or diminished because of males. Females are born powerful, but they can lose touch with that innate power if they are harmed by males. (But they can heal and regain it.)

Female energy is the salvation of male energy, to an extent. (I would hesitate to say “vice versa,” but maybe.) Males are not completely lost without females—but female energy holds an important key to a male’s self-discovery and spiritual journey, in my experience. It has to do with emotion and feeling.

Imagine a world filled only with men, no women. In my imagination, the men would form groups based on “power” and domination. Each group would be led by an outwardly “powerful” leader and the men in his group would follow his directions—until he was ousted (killed) by another “powerful” man. The different factions and groups would compete against each other for domination and supremacy:

“Us versus them.”  The base-male directive.

Now imagine a world filled only with women, no men. In my imagination, the women would form groups based on community and cooperation. Each group would be an organic operation in which each woman had her own say in the decisions of the whole. Different groups would relate to other groups in a spirit of togetherness:

“Us with them.”  The powerful-female aspiration.

Keep in mind in each imagined scenario that the men would have NO female influence and the women would have NO male influence.

I don’t like to use imagined scenarios to make a point, but in this case I don’t know that there is a better way to do it. Where is an all-male society, “free” of female influence? The closest I can think of are prisons, gangs, sports teams, and military combat units, all of which resemble my imagined scenario. (Oh, yeah—and look at world history!)

Where is an all-female society, free of male influence? In this male-dominated world, I don’t think women have been so lucky! There are all-female prisons, but I’d bet my next year’s pay that most or all of those women were hurt by base males—or they wouldn’t be there.

Men, when left to their “base” maleness, divide and conquer. Their unspoken motto is “Fuck it or kill it.” (And sometimes both, not necessarily in that order.) With the influence of female energy, though, base maleness can be transformed into ascended maleness. This is not always an easy task, even for a powerful female. We attract levels of power similar to our own, so a powerful female would be likely to attract a powerful male, whether his power is base or ascended. (“Do I like the nice guy or the bad boy? They both like me.”)

Any woman whose mate is a base male has her hands full. At the present time, this means most young women in relationships, since our society tends to produce base males. Men tend to “mellow” (ascend!) as they age—largely because they are partnered with women and raise daughters.

Natural female power can be hidden or even broken by harm from a male at any time in her life, especially if she is a child. This kind of harm has a two-fold negative effect: she hides her female power within herself (to protect it) and she fears male energy (because of its power to harm her). As a result, she ends up fearing her own power.

Harm is by its nature temporary, though, and I suspect that ascended male energy (which, remember, is itself sort of a combination of male and female energy) can help a hurt female to heal and recover the power she has lost. So can other women’s female energy.

Thus, in the context of male-female relationship, powerful females can help base males and hurt females to heal, and ascended males can also help hurt females to heal. Afterward, you have a very powerful couple: a powerful female and an ascended male.

This is one expression of what I call Love. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

(written in 2009)

The Male and Female Spiritual Principles

November 23, 2011

Spirit operates “behind” or “inside” the physical world we occupy. This simply means that Spirit is the cause of everything that happens and the physical world is an effect (like a hand inside a glove causing the glove’s observable movements).

In a similar fashion, a person’s invisible mind is the cause of his or her observable behavior. Mind (with its “left-brain” and “right-brain” aspects that correspond to the male and female principles) is, in fact, a synonym for Spirit. Humans are thus a neatly-packaged microcosm of the universal macrocosm, especially with regard to sex and intimacy.

As a smaller-scale representation of the universe, humans express spiritual principles—in this case, the male and female creative principles that govern the ongoing creation and development of the universe. These universal principles work together—and must work together—in order for anything to exist at all. On a human level, when we understand the dynamics between these two “halves of God”—the male and female creative principles—and apply them to sexuality and intimacy, the result is increased unity and healing on many levels of being (physical, emotional, and so on).

Both male and female qualities are present in both men and women, although our biological forms (as determined by heredity and experience) determine the prevalence of each aspect in any given person. The male creative principle is directive, analytical, and giving. It is able to evaluate, determine, and implement. Basically, it decides what to create. The female creative principle is receptive, submissive, and nurturing. It is able to carry out, produce, and make happen. Basically, it brings forth into existence.

These basic male and female qualities are symbolized in sexual reproduction. The male determines what will be created by his contribution of genetic material. He gives this biological direction to the female, who receives it and produces the desired effect—in this case, she brings new life into existence.

On a different level, every person produces effects in life by conceiving an end state in their personal male aspect of mind (the conscious, or “thinking” mind), which their personal female aspect of mind (the subconscious or “subjective” mind) carries out automatically. The resulting condition or effect is like the offspring of this process.

Father, Mother, Child: the original Trinity, a symbolic representation of the creative process of life.

So we see that the male-female creative process operates on many levels of existence, and can be learned by observing our own thinking processes, the conditions of our lives, and the world around us, all of which operates according to the same principles.

Male and Female Sexual Potential

November 22, 2011

The Biblical creation story says that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them (Genesis 1:27, NIV, emphasis mine).” This statement seems to imply that the qualities of God are in some way divided between—or can only be found in communion between—the sexes: between men and women.

The importance of communion between the sexes is most obvious in the sexual act itself. Sex is primarily seen historically—and biologically—as the highest form of reproduction. Each parent contributes its own unique DNA to a new member of the species, which is more readily adaptable to environmental conditions and changes because of the variety of genetic material that sexual reproduction provides.

Sex as a biological mechanism for reproduction is an animal quality that does indeed serve its purpose of life and variety. Animals function largely in accordance with instinct—the biological “programming” that ensures their survival without culture and governs their sexual behavior. (Mammals, in particular, also have other “higher” functions that we sometimes consider to be uniquely “human,” such as emotions.) For animals, sex appears to be an instinctive means of pleasure that happens to ensure the continuity of life.

The biological aspects of sexual relation are not the primary function or benefit of sex in humans, though. Humans are not simply animals. C.S. Lewis said that humans are amphibians: half animal and half spirit. Although we possess animal qualities like the biological needs for food, shelter, and society, we are also uniquely capable of higher mental functions such as reason, logic, intellect, abstraction, free will, art, and spirituality.

Having said that, sex obviously does serve the purposes of pleasure and reproduction for humans as it does in animals. With our more developed capacity for understanding, though, in humans sex becomes (for the first time in the history of the known universe!) a means by which the male and female aspects of Spirit—the “God” at the center of our being—can approach wholeness again by reuniting with their other “half” in the flesh.

The unitive nature of human sexuality gives sex a powerful healing quality when a couple recognizes and uses its potential for intimacy. On the other hand, the energies that come into play on an intimate level are so strong and central to the cohesion of the self (perhaps especially for women) that there is great potential for damage when sexuality is used in an inconsiderate, violent, or harmful way.

Women and men have unique roles (and responsibilities, if you will) toward each other during sex and intimacy. Each of these roles provides a unique healing quality for the partner, in accordance with gender. When we examine this healing dynamic, it becomes apparent that men and women are indeed “made for each other,” despite the apparent problems that the Great Misunderstanding has created between the sexes.

What is the healing dynamic of intimacy and sex between a man and a woman? Through sex and intimacy, the male can “go into and touch” the physical and emotional center of the female. Likewise, the female is able to “bring a man out of himself” so that he connects with her in these ways. The male dynamic includes going out and giving; the female dynamic includes welcoming in and receiving. Together, they form a circuit of powerful healing—or destructive—energy.

The ways in which these effects are beneficial to each partner become more apparent when we understand the male and female principles, and their individual qualities.

To be continued…

(Written in 2008)

Male-Female Inequality

November 21, 2011

In the majority of known societies throughout human history, males have dominated females. In the majority of societies today, this situation continues. In the future, however, men and women will understand their basic equality and importance to each other. This growth in awareness, particularly by men who are finally learning the importance of functionally healthy and whole women to their own well-being, is the single necessary and sufficient cause of the eradication of social ills, from poverty to war to psychosis to addiction to child abuse.

Failure to correct these ills, which are causes and effects of the ongoing cycle of human harm that we call “history,” could potentially result in the widespread self-destruction of humanity as our collective, fragmented minds and emotions continue to cause a global mindset of competition and defense, rather than cooperation and assistance.

The popular perception (because it’s an observable behavior) is that male domination of women harms the woman, but not necessarily the man. This most common point of view, however, ignores the inner world of man and woman—perhaps because each person’s inner life is unknown and unobservable to others unless the person explains his or her inner world to them.

The nature of sexual-emotional harm is such that it wounds a person’s innermost feelings and self-images, the very parts of the self that are least likely to be disclosed except in an intimate relationship. These intimate parts are of course the parts of the self most harmed—cut off from awareness—in the case of emotional-sexual harm. This block to intimacy affects both partners.

We see, then, that the cycle of harm between the sexes is a difficult problem to admit and thus identify—much less overcome—in a culture whose members are nearly universally caught up in the mindset of conflict, rather than peace, between men and women. It is similarly difficult to overcome for individuals who have been harmed (or who have harmed) in such a way, and who thus operate every day without the richness of existence and unity that intimacy creates.

This conflict between the sexes—and, by extension, between people in general—is largely a result of the Great Misunderstanding: that men and women are not absolutely essential to each other’s emotional and spiritual well-being and growth. In reality, we are exactly that to each other. The Great Misunderstanding was propagated first by men (who are of course more physically powerful than women) and then culturally instilled in both males and females (by both men and women) as part of the socialization process. This pattern occurred nearly universally, very early in human history. We can see examples of the Great Misunderstanding, and sometimes even its origins, in ancient literature and scriptures.

But we can find traces of understanding about the importance of the sexes as well—especially in pre-Christian pagan or nature religions. These people recognized the power and relevance of the female aspect of life and honored it equally with the male. Modern Western religions, on the other hand, typically revere the male aspect and subjugate or ignore the equally important female.

Recently, however, there has been a resurgence of female-worship in new or throwback “neo-pagan” and nature religions among people who desire to revere both male and female equally.

This is a step in the direction of resolving the historical inequality between males and females.

On Jealousy

November 20, 2011

I’ve found that jealousy comes when you attach your own self-value to someone else’s behavior—and that’s always asking to be hurt.

There’s a certain distance you have to maintain in a healthy relationship, like a planet orbiting the sun. Get too close and you get burned; get too far away and you freeze. Finding that comfortable space for good interaction without losing yourself in the other person is part of the dance of male and female.

Sometimes you can be closer, or farther away, depending on circumstances. This requires close attention to the relationship, your own feelings, and your partner’s feelings so that you both understand whatever is going on between you.

They say that a relationship is work, but I disagree. A relationship is like a garden that you tend lovingly and gently as you watch it produce plants and eventually fruit. The bigger the plants get, the stronger they are and the less attention they need to stay healthy—and big plants can weather a storm much better than seedlings.

Work comes in relationships when you aren’t attentive and you let weeds sprout up all over the place. Then it’s up to both of you to pull them, together, and if one partner doesn’t want to, that’s where the work gets hard. If you let things go too far outside of your attention, it takes (sometimes painful) energy—from both of you—to bring them back and create the understanding that all else must come from.

Attention (but not obsession!) prevents having to do this painful work later. If someone isn’t worth that kind of attention—if it isn’t a pleasant process for you to tend delicately to your partner—I think that’s a sign of a bad combination of seed and soil.

If you plant your seeds in the right kind of soil, they will grow easily. If you understand your partner, jealousy withers like a weed in the sun.

Why We Have Sex

September 16, 2011
There is only one distinction between humans great enough to divide us into two distinct groups: we are male and female.  Ultimately, we are male and female for many reasons—not just for making kids.
Most adults either have or are looking for a companion of the other sex. Such a mate can make our life experience more enjoyable and fulfilling, even though we often have more thoughts, feelings, interests, and activities in common with same-sex companions.

Some couples don’t want or plan to have children together, though, and yet they stay together.  That’s because there’s another facet to sex besides procreation and pleasure, which I think is even more important than either of these. We long for closeness with another person, and we want that other person to allow us to be that close to them.

Every human ultimately wants to be and feel accepted by another. The ultimate acceptance is to agree to join your body (and deeper parts as well) together with another person’s through the sexual act. When you have sex with someone, you say in a physical (and deeper) way, “I accept you.”

(This is true especially for females, who actually invite their partner into their bodies.)

Our genitals are very near our center of mass, the tanden in Japanese, which is located just below our belly buttons. A woman’s uterus is her body’s center of gravity. Maybe that’s why she typically feels a deeper connection than the man does when she has sex: the male literally touches the center of her.

There’s a reason why our genitals aren’t on our heads, or buttocks, or feet. When a man and woman copulate in the missionary position (or its variants), their tandens are pressed together. Their bodies are as close as they can be, and they share the same center of mass.

They are as close to being a single body as humans can get.

In this position, their bodies are mirrors of each other: eyes to eyes, mouth to mouth, pelvis to pelvis. This closeness (physical intimacy) is why our genitals are near our tandens, and it’s one reason why we desire other-sex companionship, even briefly.

It’s also why neither males nor females can have this same level and kind of intimacy with a same-sex partner. Other sexual positions and acts are less intimate than the male-female (vaginal) missionary position, and other bodily configurations don’t offer the same potential for physical—and thus emotional—closeness.

A true other-sex companion isn’t only an intimate sexual partner. The mate we seek also has some of the qualities of our same-sex friends: we share many of the same thoughts, feelings, interests, and activities. Sexual intimacy isn’t enough to have a fulfilling mate if we don’t share the rest, too.

Of course, it’s still important for both males and females to have same-sex companions. With them, we can share a mental and emotional connection that can be hard to find in the other sex. But having a partner who connects with you in other ways, too, is one of life’s great joys.

(Written in 2005 and freshly edited on December 19, 2016.)

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