On Healing Other People’s Negativity

April 12, 2016

Some of the greatest teachers and healers in history have famously been murdered–presumably by “negative” people. Jesus and Socrates both come to mind.

Presumably, these great teachers and healers did not heal these negative people, despite being close enough to them to be killed by them.

These negative people who would murder a great teacher or healer were, presumably, hurt people.  After all, as they say, “Hurt people hurt people.”

Presumably, “hurting people” would include murdering great teachers or healers–instead of being healed by them.

Hurting people does indeed cause negativity.  Nevertheless, those hurt (“negative”) people still have free will. For this reason, not only is it impossible to make a negative person positive, i.e. to heal a hurt person, but it would be wrong to do so unless you had that person’s consent.

In real life, however, when a someone wants to (emotionally) heal a “negative” person, the negative person is often only seeking to take and use some of that person’s positive energy to alleviate his or her own suffering.  In other words, the purpose of taking the positive person’s positive energy is only to make the negative person feel better temporarily, not to “heal” them at all!

This is practically the definition of a Narcissist: someone who takes positive energy from another person in order NOT to heal themselves.

This energetic (emotional) transfer depletes the other person’s positive energy, “spreading” the negativity to himself or herself. The negative person now expends the newly-acquired positive energy like fuel, while the positive person must restore it somehow.

This is emotional vampirism at work.

Human beings are indeed pure positive energy at our core, but the way to heal negativity is not to douse it with positive energy, as in dousing a fire with water. The way to heal a negative (hurt) person is to get rid of negativity through energetic (emotional) RELEASE–and this is an inside job.

This is how a negative person’s own pure positive energy can come forth from the core–in place of the negativity that now has been released like a champagne bottle’s cork.

Other people can help facilitate this inner process, if (and only if) the negative person is willing, but anyone who stays too close to a lot of negativity, for too long, is at risk of “acquiring” negativity in the process. This is why teachers and healers must replenish their own positive energy in various ways if they are to remain positive themselves.

It’s also why survivors of Narcissistic abuse frequently end up with “fleas” to get rid of. These are negative qualities acquired from the Narcissist, through the transfer of positive energy to him or her, in an attempt to heal a negative (hurt) person.  But the Narcissist is only pretending to want to be healed, in order to keep the positive energy flowing freely…to the Narcissist.

Many people have sacrificed themselves trying to heal other people’s negativity, literally for nothing–except a lesson on this subject, if they’re lucky. Then they learn that they can only heal themselves. And then, guess what?

They DO.

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Negativity

September 12, 2011

Life is like mining.

As we live, we gather for ourselves the raw dirt of experience. That “dirt” consists of a load of information that we sift through to select the bits that we incorporate into our view of the world.

Our World View

There are many bits of information, of many different qualities, in our experience, and we accept or reject them based on our present world view.

Our world view, at any time, consists of our judgment of the nature and qualities of reality, based on the values we hold in mind, and reinforced by those bits of information we glean from the experiences we “mine” from reality in our daily life.

We choose the information that makes up our world view from all the experiences we encounter…based on our own world view!

Thus, our experience tends to reinforce whatever idea of reality we already have.

You encounter a million and one things in each day, and you don’t notice nearly a million of them. For example, I might have seen an ad for an upcoming marathon. If I did, I didn’t notice it–because running marathons isn’t part of my version of reality. My uncle Mike, on the other hand, who plans his vacations around marathons, definitely would have noticed it!

There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” experience (although experiences vary in the amount of pleasure or pain we feel, or in how much they jibe with what we want to happen).

Each bit of life experience comes to us judgment-free until we judge it (again based on our world view!). Yet it has value to us because it is a reflection of the mind elements that we consist of. It has value to us because we can learn more about who we are by noticing what things in our experience seem important to us—and what things don’t.

Life Reflects YOU

This is because, just as life is like mining, it is also like a mirror. Just as we pick and choose from our vast experience the bits of information that we already value, so it appears to us that Life occurs in a manner consistent with the values that we already hold in mind.

Thus, as we are, so we experience life:

because of our world view, which affects what we “see” in life, what we see is a reflection of what we are.

To change what you experience (or what you perceive as your experience), you have to change the way you see the world. Amazing things can and will happen when you become aware of the way you see things—and the effect that your view has on your entire life!

“Good” and “bad” are concepts (in this case, judgments) that many people hold in their world view. How do they judge the “good” from the “bad”? Primarily,

  1. violating their own childhood teachings is “bad” and
  2. physical pain and, by extension, death is “bad”—especially their own.

“Good,” then, is the opposite:

  1. seeing the fulfillment of their childhood teachings in their own experience and
  2. avoiding physical pain and death.

Although all events in our experience are neutral in value until we ascribe value to them, the events that we pick out of our wealth of experience are important to our understanding.

They reflect what we value; they also reflect the thoughts we focus on. Our thoughts affect us in two possible ways: they can be positive (nudging us closer to a clear understanding of Life and Love) or negative (hindering our growth).

Negativity, Growth, and Love

Negativity is the accumulation of negative thought. It is also known as sin, evil, baggage, and negative emotions (such as anger, frustration, fear, and depression).

Our thoughts tend to snowball upon each other. Negativity begets negativity; Love begets Love. The good news is that you are more powerful than any negativity. But you can’t beat Love. Although negativity obscures Love temporarily, Love is always there, even if it’s out of sight.

Love is the goal of growth.  Growth is the casting away of negativity; Love is its absence.

If we don’t deal with the negativity that we have accumulated in our lives, it gradually overwhelms us and obscures our perception of the world. The results are:

  1. we see the world as an ever-more hostile or bad place, and other people as our enemies, and
  2. we lose sight of the universal value, Love, and experience it less in our life.

We become miserable, suspicious, cold, closed: we become evil.

Everything that is done can be undone except death, which is itself an undoing. If we have accumulated negativity, we can also cut it off. The way we do so is by becoming aware of it.

Then we can learn how we “got” it and we can undo it in our own lives by seeing the error of its presence and literally commanding it to leave.

Just as the cells of our bodies are part of us, and yet they are also separate yet dependent organisms, so can the elements that make up our personalities be thought of as separate, yet dependent, entities and can be treated as such.

A negative mind element, like a cancer cell, didn’t “come from” anywhere, but was always a part of our psychological makeup. It has only been corrupted.

It is our task to do away with our negativity. Then we can truly say that we have overcome ourselves and the world.

(Written in 2004 and freshly edited on December 19, 2016.)


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