On Healing Other People’s Negativity

Some of the greatest teachers and healers in history have famously been murdered–presumably by “negative” people. Jesus and Socrates both come to mind.

Presumably, these great teachers and healers did not heal these negative people, despite being close enough to them to be killed by them.

These negative people who would murder a great teacher or healer were, presumably, hurt people.  After all, as they say, “Hurt people hurt people.”

Presumably, “hurting people” would include murdering great teachers or healers–instead of being healed by them.

Hurting people does indeed cause negativity.  Nevertheless, those hurt (“negative”) people still have free will. For this reason, not only is it impossible to make a negative person positive, i.e. to heal a hurt person, but it would be wrong to do so unless you had that person’s consent.

In real life, however, when a someone wants to (emotionally) heal a “negative” person, the negative person is often only seeking to take and use some of that person’s positive energy to alleviate his or her own suffering.  In other words, the purpose of taking the positive person’s positive energy is only to make the negative person feel better temporarily, not to “heal” them at all!

This is practically the definition of a Narcissist: someone who takes positive energy from another person in order NOT to heal themselves.

This energetic (emotional) transfer depletes the other person’s positive energy, “spreading” the negativity to himself or herself. The negative person now expends the newly-acquired positive energy like fuel, while the positive person must restore it somehow.

This is emotional vampirism at work.

Human beings are indeed pure positive energy at our core, but the way to heal negativity is not to douse it with positive energy, as in dousing a fire with water. The way to heal a negative (hurt) person is to get rid of negativity through energetic (emotional) RELEASE–and this is an inside job.

This is how a negative person’s own pure positive energy can come forth from the core–in place of the negativity that now has been released like a champagne bottle’s cork.

Other people can help facilitate this inner process, if (and only if) the negative person is willing, but anyone who stays too close to a lot of negativity, for too long, is at risk of “acquiring” negativity in the process. This is why teachers and healers must replenish their own positive energy in various ways if they are to remain positive themselves.

It’s also why survivors of Narcissistic abuse frequently end up with “fleas” to get rid of. These are negative qualities acquired from the Narcissist, through the transfer of positive energy to him or her, in an attempt to heal a negative (hurt) person.  But the Narcissist is only pretending to want to be healed, in order to keep the positive energy flowing freely…to the Narcissist.

Many people have sacrificed themselves trying to heal other people’s negativity, literally for nothing–except a lesson on this subject, if they’re lucky. Then they learn that they can only heal themselves. And then, guess what?

They DO.

5 Responses to On Healing Other People’s Negativity

  1. Yes. Very true. The narcissist I was married to not only liked to siphon my energy, he also hated the fact that I had it in the first place. So, when he wasn’t siphoning, he was running me down, trying to make me feel bad. It was a very awful period for me, but I learned a lot from it.

  2. venbaxter says:

    I bet you did, Lynette! ❤

  3. Amy Marie says:

    Thank you for this! So, does that mean we should not even try to explain something to a narcissist? I was asked yesterday by the N I am trying to get completely away from why I “don’t even want to be friends”. I have written out the reasons (for myself) but haven’t replied to him yet. I don’t expect him to change but I feel like I should answer the question. Is that just a waste of my time? I feel the need to treat this person with respect even though he treated me like a used tissue. And if I discard him without even answering aren’t I becoming just like him?

    • venbaxter says:

      Hi, Amy! You’re welcome. 🙂

      If you want to “get completely away from” someone you have determined to be a Narcissist (and everything that entails), then that’s what I would recommend. I can’t speak directly to your situation, but from my experience I’ve found that Narcissists are “give an inch and they’ll take a mile” sort of people.

      If someone is trying to strangle me with a rope, why would I give them any rope at all? I understand your sense of “becoming just like him”. However, a Narcissist isn’t a “normal” person and “normal” rules and standards of behavior don’t apply to them. The concept of “No Contact” isn’t for the Narcissist’s good. It’s for our own, because we can’t heal while still being cut open.

      Thank you for your comment!

    • Kim Saeed says:

      Hi Amy. As Ven said, don’t give him any rope. In fact, you don’t even need to answer the question because doing so is engaging with someone who will not only NOT see your point of view, but will consume your desire to treat him with respect as an ego kibble.

      No Contact does not make you a narcissist. It’s simply a matter of survival. I agree with Ven, we can’t heal while still being cut open.

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